Why I Have an 7-year-old Boyfriend at 26.

I’ll be clear right away. My dear friends have a 7-year-old son, named David. This little man is an intense and fantastic boy who fearlessly asked his babysitter to be his girlfriend. Now the family joke is that I'm his girlfriend, though I have the clarity to know I’ll be dumped for a younger woman at some point. He’s a charmer and I know, being 19 years older than him, he won’t stick around forever.

I tell nosy folks when questioned, that yes, I have a boyfriend. He’s seven and has the best blue eyes ever. His parents joke with him, “Your girlfriends tucking you in tonight,” and his sisters find equal giggles in teasing him and our family banter over the scenario is hilarious.

But in all honesty, the more I know the kid and the more I watch other romances, relationships, and  marriages, I realize there are something characteristics about this boy I need to hold on to and ponder.

He’s Completely Himself.

This boy, as they say, is all boy. He has no problem climbing onto my lap and begging me to play football or baseball or side with his movie selection over his sisters. He says exactly how he feels and thinks at every single second. If he wishes to talk of poop and boogers, he does. If he wants to talk sports, scores, and his teams winning or losing - for hours! - he does. If he wants something, he says it. If he hates something, he says it. If he’s mad at his sisters, it’s immediate and he makes it known. If he wants to tell me something serious and from the heart, he does. His sisters will imply things and be dramatic females, but with my little boyfriend, I always know he will tell me exactly what he thinks or exactly what's happening.

To be honest, I sometimes act as I should or in a way so as to survive a situation. I hide from people what I think is just for family and real friends. I’m genuine, but if I don’t want this person to know me that well, I don’t let them. I’m also realizing some parts of myself are not there anymore. Someone commented on an element of my character they saw, and I realized it had been years since I had exercised that part of me. Which is not a good thing, as it was one of my nicer qualities. I made a different version of me for now, to cope or deal with my “now” reality. I’m not as completely me as I should be.

His Affection is Genuine and Unaffected.

For a monstrous, dirty, carefree boy of seven, there are few with a bigger heart and tenderness than this scamp. My girlfriends tell stories of the first “I love you,” or lack thereof, or the uncertainty they have in their relationships. Sometimes you can tell via observation the lack of integrity in some relationships to be affectionate without strings attached. But not my boyfriend. His delight in being hugged, having a head rub as I pass by, or being tucked in at night and getting maybe five minutes of my undivided attention, cause the kid’s love-tank to be filled to the brim. If he needs a cuddle, he’ll shyly slide over to me on the couch during a movie. He’s the utmost gentleman, wanting to be sure he’s leaning on me appropriately, and careful of what he calls, “breastizzles...”

The child’s ability to make me feel loved, and like a superhero in his eyes is sparked by his ability to genuinely be affectionate with those he cares for. Those that know me, know I’m a mama bear for my loved ones. For those that don’t know me as well, I’m probably standoffish and formal. I’m guarded until I see proof I can lower the blast-shields. I’m cautious where my boyfriend is heart-all-in from the start. Maybe somewhere in between would be a better place for me on being unaffected and generous in affection.

He’s Honest with His Fear and His Ego.

The child has no problem telling you he beat everyone running the mile and his exact time. He’ll tell you how badly he beat his sister and how he got three home runs and how he’s awesome at football. The kid is a sport nut and he’s good at it. He’s determined to play and play hard and lord it over his sisters for good measure. But for all his ego there, he’s afraid of witches and was seriously worried about robbers the other night. I had to assure him I was scarier than any robber and that his father would never let anything happen to his family. But what if they’re bigger than you? What if they’re faster than you? The child doesn't quite realize I’d kill anything trying to hurt him. But he always speaks candidly on both his greatest strengths and greatest weaknesses, and that is something to admire.

I do not speak candidly on either. I will avoid conversations of my strengths because compliments make me uncomfortable. I’m not sure if I can really call them strengths, because I’m not as good as I want to be in those areas, so I ignore them. I avoid my weaknesses because I dislike admitting I have weaknesses. It may be an adult-thing. It may be a Shaina-thing, but when did it start? When did I start hiding from my fears and from my ego?

His Ambitions and Passions are so Active and Driven.

His plans are to take his dad’s house when he dies. He plans on playing football. He plans on not going to college so as to not waste his money, but just to have fun in his dad’s house. He’s so focused and intense when he does something, I’m jealous of his drive. He’s seven and his life plans will change, but still.

I don’t even remember what my life plans were at seven, but it changed most certainly. Maybe adulthood, maybe 6.5 years of college have dulled my ambition and passion for things. My passions and pursuits are still there, but the activeness and the drive for those things has certainly cooled. To be seven again with all the force of life exploding itself at whatever endeavor, full speed! I miss those days where the drive and force of a project or goal was enough to make sleep superfluous.

He Just Asked.

This is the one point in this rambling that has to do with the actual boyfriend topic. I’m highly content with my boyfriend. I couldn't ask for a better one at this point, but I will say this. He was fearless. Yes, he was six when he asked and rejection doesn't scare him yet, but he still asked. He’d heard me talking of my sister’s wedding with his mother. After his parents left, he asked me when I was getting married. I said I didn't know.

“I don’t even have a boyfriend yet!” I said.

David grinned like a boy who has a brilliant, beyond brilliant idea.

“Can I be your boyfriend??”

What girl can refuse such honest and clearly communicated intentions? His parents found it hilarious and it has continued since. I have parental consent, so I claim I have a boyfriend for now. But truly men, to any males actually reading this, just ask her. Not, “do you wanna hang out?” Just ask “can I take you out on a date?” “Would you be willing to go on a date with me sometime?” I honestly doubt I’d refused a date invitation if I knew in the most clearest of terms that it was a real date (and that the guy isn't an ax murderer). Even if it was a one time date. You’d have my attention and probably my yes, if you just asked.

Maybe I think too deeply. Or maybe observing kids is a great way of getting back to a more honest place of self, with faith and love like a child. Take from it what you will, but my boyfriend has impacted my life and taught me many things. Even though he’s only 7 years old and I’m 26.