Game Over

 I didn't expect this world to be a grayscale. I didn't know it would feel dark as if everything was lit by moonlight. I stepped on a lost candy cane and it broke into maroon and charcoal pieces. My path became a playing field or game board that out-sized me. I felt like Alice, suddenly small and overwhelmed by surroundings I didn't plan for. I just didn't expect to end up in a world of larger-than-life board games. I was staring down plastic mansions on Boardwalk. The top hat lay sideways on Park Avenue, the size of a couch. To my left beyond the edge of Monopoly was a sea of cubes across the Risk map. I could see the Barbie game board with massive character cards, a block with cherry trees, and an unappetizing Candy Land in a sea of grays. Mouse Trap and Chutes and Ladders were silhouetted on the horizon to my left, looking sinister and cruel in the light here.

“How do I get out of this place?” I whispered to the terrifying space. “How did I get here?”

What even was this place? A grandmother's nightmare of an upset game closet. A horror film set. Was I about to meet some clowns?? If a giant mouse or a molasses monster came to kill me, would I have any chance of survival from an attack? Why was I even here?

Suddenly two dice careened past me. Regular six-sided cubes in gray rolled by like boulders in a jungle. One die was marked “Fear,” and the other was labeled “Fate,” both words and dice loomed over me. The numbers atop were invisible to me, but all the pieces around me started shifting and moving. All the games activated on one roll from Fear and Fate.

I was forcibly propelled onto the Monopoly board beside the bank and gaped in shock. The bank had my actual bank account number on the cardboard slots for fake money. It showed me in muted colored dollar bills with the monocled man in the center, the contents of my finances. The numbers tallied and it was obvious of my lack and small mentality. There was a shame all over me as the Thimble piece, the Top Hat, the Iron, and Chance cards danced across the board to witness “my turn,” in the game.

Tears came as fear and despair clutched my chest, making it hard to breathe. I was ashamed of the little I had and that I hadn't done enough work. Even Mr. Monopoly knew my smallness and I was ready to crumble, hands covering my face to sob when the earth began to shake. It was slow and far away, but I realized, my tears frozen to my face, that the shaking was monstrous footsteps. I couldn't see anything at first but finally saw in the distance, way over the Monopoly board edge, a giant man was running. As he drew closer with pounding, ground-shaking steps, my eyes had to adjust to his blazing white clothes that glowed in the dark, gray world. The game pieces around me shuddered and threatened to fall. The dice even shivered. After a few more long strides toward me, I realized while I was dwarfed by the game, this giant in bright white could span the whole board in one footstep.

I was scared by his fast approach and hid behind the Thimble piece. The giant came right to the dice and swung something long and white over his head. At first, I thought it was a sword, but he brought it down hard into the game board fast. He took a knee as he hit the game, impaling it with the white weapon. The shattered game, pieces, and board, all convulsed as a muted rainbow of money filled the air like confetti. When he stood, I saw it was a chunky, rough, thick, white cross embedded into the bank of the Monopoly game. All my accounts were gone, obliterated really, and the cross was permanently stuck in the torn hole in the game.

I had made many sounds during the upheaval and fallen backward, scrambling to hide again as the giant stalked away, almost angrily. I wasn't sure if he even saw me. I looked at where my accounts had been in the bank and the numbers were all jumbled and made no sense. I looked at the back of the disappearing giant in awe, but he was almost a spec in the distance.

I was almost calm when I saw the dice shift, lift, and roll away to the left, skipping far away on the boards. I felt my body lift and skid forward on my toe tips, forcing me away from Monopoly. I was amid the larger-than-life LIFE board. My job stared back at me with a vengeance from white plastic buildings. The weight, work, obligations, stress, expectations, and monotony all pressed on me physically as I stood there. It wasn't painful, but it was heavy and constant, and I couldn't stand up straight. The reality of my daily tasks was represented in these plastic buildings. They radiated pressure and a stifling atmosphere. In trying to walk away from the board to another, I was pushed to my knees when the ground began to shudder again. I looked up.

The giant man in glowing white came fast again, another white cross in one hand, held aloft and measuring half his height. Again he hit the board with the cross, impaling the Life board spinner with a splatter of plastic shrapnel flinging away. The chunky cross was a stark bright symbol in the gray backdrop of Life's realities and roles. The giant turned away but the rest of the board began to grow higher as he did. All the other board pieces and buildings grew and soon doubled in size surrounding the cross. The giant turned back half way and as he did, slivers of the cross came out from the center pole and stabbed viciously at the rising buildings. The plastic shattered instantly, like bubbles popping. A squeal escaped me but the giant didn't seem to hear as he left without actually acknowledging the game's revolt.

I barely had a chance to breathe deeply before I heard the dice move again. I shifted my back and rolled my shoulders to release tension as the dice skipped quickly by. I rose and landed suddenly beside a very loud spinner. I wanted to rejoice at feeling a bit lighter but was surprised by the whirring noise filling space like a high-powered fan. I could see 4 flat cherry trees around the spinner and I was by a barely blue bin. The spinner stopped on “Two Cherries.” I moved involuntarily and grabbed two cherries and heaved them into the bucket. Each fruit filled my arms and was awkward to carry the paces to the bin. Fortunately, they were light, like carrying pillows, and the one bounced when I dropped it.

I struggled, but managed as I read the label on the blue bucket that said “Tasks.” The spinner sounded again and a bird came and stole from my bucket. The spinner whirled and I knew to move three cherries to my bucket. Then I had to remove one back to the tree. Then a dog careened through the whole game and knocked over the bucket where all my cherries slid back to the tree. The spinner went again and again until I wanted to scream when the dog dumped my bucket a third time. With a roar in my mouth, I froze as the ground trembled again.

The massive man in his glowing robe made a rush with his cross raised. I ran out of the way and leaped off the board as the entire game caved under the size and weight of the embedded cross. A scream escaped me as I covered my head in the hail storm of huge cherries. The spinner arrow bounced off my elbow painfully and then silence fell. I uncovered my face to gape at the glowing cross towering stories over my head. Behind it, the giant stood on the edge of shadow, his eyes glittering in the cross' light. I looked at him and his eyes pierced me without moving or blinking. A low voice came out of him, like a lion speaking, “Game over.”

He turned on his heel and left in four steps. I lay there on my hips and hands, trying to breathe while I could hear the dice rolling somewhere again. As Fear and Fate rolled by, I rose again as their labels like reverse neon signs of darkest black stared at me. The roll triggered movement in all the gloomy games and I was transported to the center of the Barbie board game.

Taller than towers stood cards of characters, dresses, and jobs, creating aisles and hallways in the board center like doors or gloomy shutters about to fall on me. They all kept coming closer and closer to enclose me. I was soon trapped between them all and crying to get out. I beat on the blue dress card, demanding to get out, pushing against the Pointdexter card. They wouldn't move and I was near panic as regret filled me. It was claustrophobic, but more pressing was that I felt responsible for this situation and also like I was to blame for everything. I should have managed this, I should have handled it, I should have done more, and this wouldn't have happened.

Just when I was ready to give up, I felt the ground move. I panicked, knowing it preceded the giant and if he landed on me, I'd be crushed in the middle of these cards. The board rocked beneath my feet from a loud collision nearby. A great wind blew and all my imprisoning cards flew away over my head to land a mark away. I stood up and turned toward the source of the breeze. The giant was still kneeling and holding the cross. He was low enough that I could see his face surrounded by his flaming white hair. It was a wrinkled face, I think, or old anyway, but the eyes were so clear of color or maybe they were all the colors that it was hard to say what was there. I know that much for one eye winked at me as he turned and then rose in one smooth movement.

I thought to follow him when a low rumble began as he walked away. I was propelled forward again, my neck snapping slightly at the sudden motion. I landed beside Fear and Fate but they were still as posts. I turned to see where I'd landed and saw a midway game of Chess. I was the white side and I was instantly pressured to decide the next move. I had to push the pieces to the needed square and it took some effort and grunting. The black moved quickly and effortlessly, but mine wouldn't be commanded. The whole time I was sweating and felt the need to be faster. It was oppressive and I keep thinking I had to be more, do better, and make quicker moves, my success depended on this next choice but everything was countered by the black pieces and all my hustle met dead ends.

I finally didn't know what to do. I didn't know where to go. I didn't know how to proceed or make a capture or defend my own pieces. I was stuck when the pieces, white and black, quivered in unison. I backed up defensively as the man in white came raging onto the scene. The massive white cross caught the fold in the game board and bent both edges up. I was near the back edge and went flying high upward and then free-fell down. As I fell forward I panicked and grabbed the cross. I landed on my belly on the cross beam. It seemed to hum beneath my hands.

With my gut in my throat, I looked at the crushed checkerboard beneath me. All the pieces lay in a blast area away from the cross' point of demolition. I pulled my legs up and knelt there as I looked up until my head was a full tilt backward. It was like putting your hand in fire to meet his eyes above me. I quaked in my skin but held his eyes. He brought up his huge hand and a large finger nudged me into his palm. He lowered me to the ground. The giant was fierce but I think he gently tipped me over, expecting I'd stand, but my legs weren't functioning. I just tipped out and laid there, limply. He made a noise, like clearing his throat, but I think he was just getting my attention. His throat was fine. I sat up as he pointed a finger at me, “Checkmate.”

I expected him to leave then as he'd done again and again. Instead, he reached for Fate and Fear. He took them up, average-size dice in his hand, and put them in his pocket. From another pocket, he pulled out something and opened his hand to drop them onto the playing field of games.

Two large white cubes fell towards me and landed heavily, thudding aggressively. The giant roared, “New Dice!” and all the games seemed to shift in expectation. Before me, looming over me, were two blazing white dice named, “Love,” and “Purpose.” I suddenly had the strength to stand as these dice activated the games. I was moved to stand on the Risk map, amidst cubes and armies. Here, there were dice everywhere, rolling and rolling, crashing constantly. It never stopped as death tolls were called out, new cubes assembled, and cards played. I didn't even know where I was supposed to participate or what was needed from me. I watched but the activity was a constant swirl that didn't seem to need me.

I felt the giant this time. Something was different now. He didn't stomp in. He approached softly and I felt him before I heard or saw him. I turned and his blazing person seemed to light up the monochromatic map before us. He held the cross as usual, but it seemed more like his walking stick. He was just watching the game, the same as I was and it seemed odd. I didn't know if he could hear me, way over my head, but I spoke normally.

“What am I supposed to do?” He gave me a downward side-eye look and tapped his cross slightly on the ground. I jumped away as I was hailed with shards of wood from his cross. I covered my head and it stopped after a moment for me to see what had fallen. All around me lay thin white crosses as tall as me and as thick as my fist.

“Where do you want territory?” He spoke as if he were whispering to just me.

“Where do I? I don't own any of this!” I was confused about how I could take territory in the game I wasn't a part of yet.

“Where do you want territory? That's the game, isn't it? To take the land? There are crosses enough for all you want to claim.”

I stood there for longer than I could later count. I was uncertain, confused, unsure, dumbfounded really. What was I to claim? What territory was mine? It was a child's game. Why would I need crosses?

“What territory, hmmm,” I spoke out loud without meaning to but it broke my stupor and I reached for an armload of crosses off the ground. I couldn't carry them all so I took what I could and began walking. The ends were pointed and all I had to do was ram it hard into the board for the cross to be staked in the ground. I slammed one into Australia and two into Asia. I walked across Russia and staked several across that land. I moved through Europe hitting everything. Africa, South America, North America, and Alaska. I hit everything and went back for more crosses where they were at the foot of His cross. There were plenty yet. I didn't need any more for the map but I knew I wasn't done. I went back to the chess board and staked a row of crosses down the board, dividing the black and white sides the opposite way. I got more crosses and went towards the Barbie Game and staked every area with a cross, impaling Pointdexter to the board along with the blue dress.

I ran a cross into every bucket on Hi Ho Cherry-O. I smashed one with relish into the Chance cards on Monopoly and into the bank that still didn't make sense. I ran a cross through the broken windows of the Life buildings and into parks and roads marked on the board. I ran back for more and more crosses until I wasn't sure where to put them. I could see more games in the shadows that hadn't been played yet, but Love and Purpose weren't moving now and I didn't hear any sounds from any space.

I went back to the giant with his cross over all my little crosses. I reached for more, but the giant knelt, holding the cross like a mighty knight would kneel with his sword. I looked up into his color-filled eyes, his hair blazing and moving like a breeze was present. I was overwhelmed by the light of his face.

“Hear me, child,” he paused as I swallowed hard in terror. “Game over.”

I realized now that Love and Purpose, Fate and Fear were all still beside him. The boards didn't have spinners going. No cubes moved on the Risk board. The dog and birds weren't flying over the cherries and the gurgling I took as the molasses monster was silent. All the games had stopped and all was still. I wasn't sure what it meant yet. It might have been stillness before a storm or it might have been peace that rested over the land of boards, moves, rules, pieces, and worlds.

“Game over,” he whispered as I felt myself waking up. “The pieces are still. The chances and turns are done. I have finished it. Game over.”