The OTHER Side of the Waiting

“Wait here...”

Ugh. God has asked me to wait. Goodness! I hate waiting, but there are quite a number of stories that have “waiting” as a vital part of the plot.

• Moses and the Israelites waited for release from Egypt.
• The Israelites waited 40 years to enter the Promise Land.
• Noah waited through years of boat building. He waited for rain; for the rain to stop; for dry land.
• Esther waited 3 days to go before the king.
• Abraham waited 100 years to have a son.
• Jacob waited 14 years for Rachel.
• Samson, Joseph, and Paul all waited in prison, wrongfully detained.
• The disciples waiting in the upper room on Pentecost.

Literature also shows us the element of waiting in a good plot.

• Jane Erye waited with her cousins to heal from her love of Mr. Rochester.
• Ann Elliott waited 8 years for her sweetheart, in Persuasion.
• Robinson Crusoe waited on an island for 28 years as a castaway.
• Edmond Dantes is imprisoned for 21 years before escaping, in the Count of Monte Cristo.
• Ben Hur spent 3 years as a slave rower before he saved the general and was freed.

Waiting. ugh. Why do we do so much of it? It's boring! Sheesh. I don't have time for this!!! Especially when what is ahead appears... big. 

Most of the examples came before something huge on the other side of waiting or tell of something depressing where they couldn’t see hope until they got to the other side of waiting. Sometimes we get the sense we’re in a season of waiting. And all we know is that it will end and something very significant will follow. Really important. Severely monumental.

I don’t want to wait for whatever this “thing” is that’s being foretold as really, very, highly, extremely valuable and of great import. How can I sit still and wait and be content until the next chapter in the great tale that will overshadow all previous stories with it’s grandeur?!??! God, I don’t want to wait. Why tell me of this now? Why fill my heart with this pressure and passion and my head with these images if the immediate work to be done is merely the act of waiting???

Psycho-Shaina rant over... What were we talking about? Oh yeah, waiting...  I suck at waiting, FYI.

When God told me he was going to “take care” of my future plans, I kind of scoffed at the idea of waiting for that to happen. Then all hell broke loose. All insanity ran amuck. More than once I hit rock bottom. More than once I was a ‘donkey on the edge!: More than 5 times I thought I was going to crack. Only art majors know the true hell that is “final semester of college” and the near death experience it results in. It was my 13th semester so maybe it was just set up to be awful. Who knows, but I was so "strung out," a job and the future were the least of my worries. I gave it to God by default. Not a faith action. An "I can't take any more," result.

Once that ended and I had nothing, I began praying, “Ok God. you said you’ve got this. Lets see what you have for me. Please don’t let me look like an idiot for trusting you.” I'm a slow learner.
I knew it would look dumb. I knew the path to whatever, would look odd and foolish to those around me. I knew I was going to hate everything about it, but I signed up for God’s plan and waited. Perversely, waiting is also a tool he uses to discipline us into his own likeness. If we looked at the plots of all those stories listed, I think we’d see character development usually happens in the waiting periods.

I remember Week 9 of my 2014 adventure and I was only partially employed as a 3rd shift hostess at Perkins. I had hoped to be finished there by the end of February. I was still on the schedule there for Week 9 and 10. 

Somewhere, so gradually I don’t know when it actually happened. I learned I had to put down the job applications. Stop looking for new postings, stop beating myself up for this or that and just trust. I had to get to the point where I would fill out applications, but then I’d go paint or read or watch a movie or work on some music or go for a walk, or have coffee with a friend. In January and February, life is inexpressibly cold. Nothing grows and nothing is visible to the eye amid all the frozen white outside.

Somewhere in the cold though, God began planting within me. I no longer really cared about a job, I wanted his plan for what I needed to be doing. I want to be in the right place at the right time. I wanted to be where he wanted me.

January bills were paid. February as well. March successfully completed. All of April was completely covered as well, thanks to God’s provision, not by my work.

In Week 1 I’d wait like I was lying on a bed of nails. Tense. Stiff. Uncomfortable. Making the rough experience absolutely hellish.  It’s easy to go back to that bed of nails if I’m not careful. But for the most part, by Week 9 of the journey, I found peace. I lose that peace from time to time still, but I believe his plan of provision will be accomplished. I’m content with many things in my life where I wasn’t before. I grew content to sleep in, read books and work on projects and fill out applications in a day where before, I wouldn’t be able to sleep and would pace the lair like a caged beast after all my human options were exhausted.

I use to make lists of what I wanted God to do. I’d make “requests,” but really just rattle off requirements of what I wanted in this situation or that. His waiting has taught me to stop repeating lists like a broken record and just say, “God you know my needs and desires by now. Let your plan be made here.” 

 

In hindsight, God broke me of something with each week of waiting. He broke me of my need to be self-sufficient. He broke me (and still is breaking me) of my need to feel in control. He broke me of my need of a job to feel of worth. He broke me of my need to be busy to feel significant. He is breaking me of my need to be in constant agitation and activity and is trying to teach me to rest again. Where my prayers were lists and demands of my needs before, now I just tell him I’m game for whatever his plan is. Each week is a new lesson that I wouldn’t learn if not for waiting.

The waiting didn’t end with gaining employment. There’s more to his plan than a job. What exactly, I don’t know... but waiting, while it is a HORRID, awful, uncomfortable ordeal, it serves so much purpose in forming the character of God in us.

While we may not have to wait 40 years to enter our promise land and probably won’t have to work 14 years to earn a spouse, we will always be waiting on God and his plan and it will always be a means to work on our obedience to God, the fashioning of our character, and enjoying the anticipation of the great things on the Other Side of the Waiting.