Something OTHER Than Faith

I’m supposed to believe. Believe life is more. Believe prayer works. Believe that in the end the struggle is/was all worth it for faith’s sake. 

But… if you’re in a place of waiting and trying to trust and grasping at hope to get through a tough thing, the last thing you want is to hear that it builds your faith, when you’re not sure you have any right now! 

For example, I wonder if Joseph ever looked back on his ten years in jail, for a crime he didn’t commit, as worth it because only ten years in prison could teach him faith. I wonder if David learned anything other than faith during the 15 years between being anointed by Samuel and his actually taking the throne. Hannah was tormented as the barren “other woman” for years before God gave her children. Why? Just to build her faith?  

To reduce all periods of waiting to just a “faith building exercises,” seems stupid. 

I’m struggling with some scripture explanations and I’m unsatisfied that the only thing God does in our waiting period is teach us faith. I think it would kill most peoples’ faith to endure for only faith’s sake. Many heroes in the bible waited for years, some never saw the fulfillment. There has to be more to the waiting, something other than faith. 

In Joseph’s case, did he know what he was waiting for? While in prison, did he dream of returning home or of vindication? Did God teach him forgiveness? Did God teach him joy in the midst of a horrible existence? How did he take over the jail, if God wasn’t using him and teaching him something during that time? He probably never imagined being Pharaoh’s vice-president. Something other than faith was at work in the waiting period. God used the process for more, like endurance, trust, and probably humility.

If we could pick apart our situations deep enough, would we even know what miracle we’re actually waiting for? When outsiders looked at my life, they’d tell you I’m waiting for God to “help with my vocation and my professional future.” Others would say I’m “in need of a spouse.” Obviously, I’m lacking a job that equates me with adulthood and I do not have a man in my life so I must be in want of a husband. Those things could be assumed. But what deeper issues does the waiting address? 

Maybe there’s a reason to strip accomplishments of value and see how much of us is left.  Maybe the lonely learn a different closeness with God. Maybe our motives aren’t what God wants so he has to put us through a human-heart-press to help us identify them and purify us, so he can actually use us. In my case, maybe he’s refining my crusty personality. Maybe he’s pounding out my pride and revealing my envy and unforgiveness. Maybe he’s teaching me to trust right now and that will much later result in faith. Result in a Joseph, a David, a Moses… if you read the stories, these men were pretty messed up people too. They didn’t have all the answers. Yet God used them after he pressed them fully… and greatly. 

I refuse to believe waiting only produces faith. That’s the overarching theme, yes, which these bible heroes tell of in the Hall of Faith. Yet if you could sit with Moses, or David, or Joseph and asked them about the waiting periods in their lives, I don’t think faith would be the first thing they mention. I’m very un-theological in my assumptions, but I’m good at being human. 

I think David would tell you of the junk in his heart that God removed by making him weep in caves for years before becoming a king. Of the motives God corrected while having David running for his life from the man whose throne he was supposed to take. The humility, compassion, understanding, experience, and trust David must have learned in those years. 

There had to have been more to the process. I think there must have been some moments with Joseph in jail, where he dealt with forgiving his brothers.  I think Moses probably dealt with some self-pity or low self-esteem at times that he was again overwhelmed as the leader of Israel. 

These men were human, right? They didn’t have overnight faith. They struggled with it. They struggled for it. For years before they saw God’s resolution in situations, if they lived to see any resolution.

Perhaps an interview with David, just after being anointed would be interesting. And then follow that closely by an interview with David just before Absalom attempts his takeover.  What different Davids’ would we meet? How much of that was developed in the waiting periods, and how much was the natural man? An interview with Joseph after his dreams and after some years in prison and after some years running Egypt would be fascinating. Moses trekking back to Egypt to free his people, and a Moses in the desert 10 years would be very different Moses’.  

Faith is a result, but not the reason for waiting. I’d say sanctification, trust, abiding, learning to be sensitive, the fruit of the spirit, endurance, and especially joy and hope!  Joy and hope are so hard to hold on to in those long years. Faith is the long-term result of obedient waiting. But there is something more during the waiting that make the years worth it, and in the end, we also earn our faith stripes.