Proverbs 31 Woman - Part I (OR) "Oh joy... I have to be good!"
PROVERBS 31:10-31, King James Version
10 Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.
Oh, why?? Seriously? Why??? Do you see how ridiculous that list of requirements is??? Can you say unrealistic and old-fashioned???
The bible doesn’t have an abundance of verses specifically directed at women. And yet for some reason, we like to ignore the ones that call us out. The entire book is meant for men and women alike, but there are some verses that are “written” to women, just as some are addressed to men. We can’t really get away from the few poignant verses that seem to point a long, boney, witch finger at us females.
Verses such as “be a submissive wife” and “Her worth is far above rubies” are good examples. Most times, I don’t want to consider how they apply to me. I don’t want to be submissive. I don’t want to even begin to contemplate what I need to do to be valued more than rubies. Without even looking, I know it’s going to cost me something. How many women really consider themselves to be worth far above rubies? Exactly. We all have work to do.
There must be a million studies for women on Proverbs 31:10-31. I am not the first nor the last to jump on this chapter and attempt an explanation or path through the verbage and word pictures here. A lot of them are hard to read and comprehend or seem to be laden with overboard piousness. Some words seem to be thrown up at us, mocking. Be virtuous!!! Be good and please your husband! Make your kids sing your praise! Forget beauty cause one day you’ll be an old hag, accept it. It’s easy to play the snarky commentator as we read these verses.
Perhaps this is just my bad attitude. But these 21 verses are not easy horse pills to swallow. I don’t know how to gather wool and spin cloth, ergo I fail as a Proverbs 31 woman. It’s even an acceptable title in Christianese: “A Proverbs 31 Woman” (P31W). My candle goes out at night. Sorry. I’m going to bed, I fail as a 31 woman. I don’t plan on getting up when it’s still night out. Nope. I’ll get up when I hear the coffee maker kick in. I fail as a P31W.
Or is there more to these verses? For one thing, I’m single. Does that mean I luck out and this is for married women, who need to rise early and give meat to the servants...? I should inform my mother about that one... Oh, wait, we don’t have servants! So no one has to worry about these verses anymore, because none of us have maids!!! We’re free!!!!
Or not.
I’m single and you don’t have servants and Jane Doe doesn’t know how to plant a vineyard... but we are still supposed to understand and see the value in practicing and striving to be a P31W.
Okay. Sarcasm is being put away now. Let’s be real and read the first few verses.
A couple thoughts before we start this giant endeavor. These chapter begins with nine preliminary verses we often forget in the chastising of women. But it’s worth mentioning that this chapter was titled in verse one as:
“The sayings of King Lemuel—an inspired utterance his mother taught him.”
That verse gives us context. “Behind every great man, is a woman...” type of situation here. Just imagine the mother of King Lemuel instructing her son of these things. That’s something we don’t consider when reading this chapter. Yes, a man wrote it, a king spoke the words, but a WOMAN instructed her son in this “INSPIRED UTTERANCE” (a God inspired utterance, dear sisters).
One thing we must understand is this admonishment, this standard of womanhood comes from a mother to her son. It comes from a woman to women everywhere, from God the father. It is a legitimate picture of what all Christian women are supposed to be. Yes. I said it. We’re all called to be a P31W.
The first few verses continue:
2 Listen, my son! Listen, son of my womb!
Listen, my son, the answer to my prayers!
3 Do not spend your strength on women,
your vigor on those who ruin kings.
4 It is not for kings, Lemuel—
it is not for kings to drink wine,
not for rulers to crave beer,
5 lest they drink and forget what has been decreed,
and deprive all the oppressed of their rights.
6 Let beer be for those who are perishing,
wine for those who are in anguish!
7 Let them drink and forget their poverty
and remember their misery no more.
8 Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
for the rights of all who are destitute.
9 Speak up and judge fairly;
defend the rights of the poor and needy.
Here the mother is instructing her son in the way to live. To be a good king. To not be a drunk or depraved king , but to rule fairly, for the poor, to be a fair judge. Then.... as most people can see a mother doing, she goes on for 21 verses to expound on the kind of woman she wants for her boy. How many mothers out there haven’t done that??? Put in an order for the perfect daughter-in-law? Not hard to imagine.
So here we go with the “Inspired utterance” that is now the example of a woman for every young or grown woman in existence.
In Praise of a Good Wife (OR) A Wife of Noble Character
10 A truly good wife
is the most precious treasure
a man can find!
(NIV - A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies).
She is a truly good wife. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines “Good” as, an adjective, “to be desired or approved of” and as a noun as, “That which is morally right; righteousness”. To be found morally right and approved of by God then, equals a woman whose worth exceeds that of rubies. Take the husband out of the equation and it is an inspiring image of a woman, one that is morally righteous and desired by God.
Moral means,“Concerned with the principles of right and wrong behavior and the goodness or badness of human character.” If one could claim to be “morally righteous” and “good”, then indeed we would be worth more than jewels. If we were indeed conscious of the good and bad in our character, that would be a start, wouldn’t it?
The problem is, we aren’t “good”. We don’t feel “good”. We’ve lost sight of what that means in our culture of passive Christian living. We hide our morally righteous living to avoid conflict with society, which is opposed to this type of woman. It would be easier if the verse said, “Wear a size 6 dress, always wear makeup when the man comes home, have dinner ready and he will find your value to exceed rubies and gold!”
What does it say? It says be of good character. It says to be of “noble” character in some translations. To be a Woman of Character. It’s not telling us what to do outwardly, it’s telling us that our minds and hearts need to be firmly established where they belong. In God. So we will always know our worth, our identity and so our moral compass will always know polar north.
Good is a four letter word and somewhere in my years education, I was told never to use four letter words such as good or nice. They are small and not as descriptive as, for example. “wonderful” and “pleasant”. How many of us can look back on our week and say we were “good” via God’s standard? Yeah. I just lost that game too. This verse is putting a standard before us. Not a standard of the perfect body type, or of a sex goddess, or powerhouse woman, but of what God wants his women to be. It should be thrown at us a lot. But we should understand it to be a picture of the inside potential of a woman, not an unattainable goal.
Example: This verse brings to mind Melanie Hamilton from “Gone With the Wind”. If you’ve read the book or watched the movie, this woman is probably one of the best example of a “good” woman. She could be the poster child for the P31W. Even when Scarlett is hateful, jealous and attempting to steal Melanie’s husband, Melanie loves Scarlett, thinks the best of her, shows integrity in her actions, and is steadfast and unwavering. She is indeed a good woman, worth far more than any gem.
More to come NEXT TIME for P31W Part II!!!!
DISCLAIMER: I am not a trained biblical scholar nor do I have a degree in ancient proverbs. I am just curious, hungry and care for my gender and our crazy methods of learning and growing as Christian women in a world that has a pretty skewed image of what women are or should be. If at any point you see a huge flaw in my logic or addition that needs to be added to the interpretation, please contact me and help me to correct or add to my expounding on this chapter. I do not claim to have all the answers or have the correct translation and meaning of all the verses in this series. I am just digging and sharing my findings and research concerning this chapter.
2/2013
10 Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.
- Traditional verse thrown at women... not gonna bother figuring it out.
- Um... ok... she’s trustworth. That’s nice...
- She will do HIM good? ALL her life... yay...
- I can’t spin wool!! I’m going to claim to be Sleeping Beauty, if I touch a spindle, I die.
- She’s like a ship? Is the author of Proverbs calling her fat??? Bringing home the bacon??
- I am not getting up early, not butchering cows and I don’t have maids so I’m off the hook!
- Not a green thumb...
- They said “loins”, aka I’m not listening anymore! *insert fingers in ears*
- I make good merchandise deals. Bought $100 boots for $4 the other week. But I sleep well at night, mostly.
- Nope. I’m Sleeping Beauty. No spindles.
- I give to the needy when I can. Sure...
- I like winter, but I’m not sure why my family would have to wear scarlet in winter...
- Ok... she’s got nice threads??
- Everyone likes my husband, good for him...
- Yay for making girdles...
- I hope my clothes are not like the Emperor’s new clothes... I’ll rejoice if I’m properly covered...
- Yeah. Sure. Sometimes.
- Most the time...
- I hope so, I guess... remember, I’m single so this doesn’t apply to me.
- I don’t know what this means....best to play dumb about now...
- Beauty is bad, fearing God is good - been told that one for years...
- Yep. Praise me, peeps.
Oh, why?? Seriously? Why??? Do you see how ridiculous that list of requirements is??? Can you say unrealistic and old-fashioned???
The bible doesn’t have an abundance of verses specifically directed at women. And yet for some reason, we like to ignore the ones that call us out. The entire book is meant for men and women alike, but there are some verses that are “written” to women, just as some are addressed to men. We can’t really get away from the few poignant verses that seem to point a long, boney, witch finger at us females.
Verses such as “be a submissive wife” and “Her worth is far above rubies” are good examples. Most times, I don’t want to consider how they apply to me. I don’t want to be submissive. I don’t want to even begin to contemplate what I need to do to be valued more than rubies. Without even looking, I know it’s going to cost me something. How many women really consider themselves to be worth far above rubies? Exactly. We all have work to do.
There must be a million studies for women on Proverbs 31:10-31. I am not the first nor the last to jump on this chapter and attempt an explanation or path through the verbage and word pictures here. A lot of them are hard to read and comprehend or seem to be laden with overboard piousness. Some words seem to be thrown up at us, mocking. Be virtuous!!! Be good and please your husband! Make your kids sing your praise! Forget beauty cause one day you’ll be an old hag, accept it. It’s easy to play the snarky commentator as we read these verses.
Perhaps this is just my bad attitude. But these 21 verses are not easy horse pills to swallow. I don’t know how to gather wool and spin cloth, ergo I fail as a Proverbs 31 woman. It’s even an acceptable title in Christianese: “A Proverbs 31 Woman” (P31W). My candle goes out at night. Sorry. I’m going to bed, I fail as a 31 woman. I don’t plan on getting up when it’s still night out. Nope. I’ll get up when I hear the coffee maker kick in. I fail as a P31W.
Or is there more to these verses? For one thing, I’m single. Does that mean I luck out and this is for married women, who need to rise early and give meat to the servants...? I should inform my mother about that one... Oh, wait, we don’t have servants! So no one has to worry about these verses anymore, because none of us have maids!!! We’re free!!!!
Or not.
I’m single and you don’t have servants and Jane Doe doesn’t know how to plant a vineyard... but we are still supposed to understand and see the value in practicing and striving to be a P31W.
Okay. Sarcasm is being put away now. Let’s be real and read the first few verses.
A couple thoughts before we start this giant endeavor. These chapter begins with nine preliminary verses we often forget in the chastising of women. But it’s worth mentioning that this chapter was titled in verse one as:
“The sayings of King Lemuel—an inspired utterance his mother taught him.”
That verse gives us context. “Behind every great man, is a woman...” type of situation here. Just imagine the mother of King Lemuel instructing her son of these things. That’s something we don’t consider when reading this chapter. Yes, a man wrote it, a king spoke the words, but a WOMAN instructed her son in this “INSPIRED UTTERANCE” (a God inspired utterance, dear sisters).
One thing we must understand is this admonishment, this standard of womanhood comes from a mother to her son. It comes from a woman to women everywhere, from God the father. It is a legitimate picture of what all Christian women are supposed to be. Yes. I said it. We’re all called to be a P31W.
The first few verses continue:
2 Listen, my son! Listen, son of my womb!
Listen, my son, the answer to my prayers!
3 Do not spend your strength on women,
your vigor on those who ruin kings.
4 It is not for kings, Lemuel—
it is not for kings to drink wine,
not for rulers to crave beer,
5 lest they drink and forget what has been decreed,
and deprive all the oppressed of their rights.
6 Let beer be for those who are perishing,
wine for those who are in anguish!
7 Let them drink and forget their poverty
and remember their misery no more.
8 Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
for the rights of all who are destitute.
9 Speak up and judge fairly;
defend the rights of the poor and needy.
Here the mother is instructing her son in the way to live. To be a good king. To not be a drunk or depraved king , but to rule fairly, for the poor, to be a fair judge. Then.... as most people can see a mother doing, she goes on for 21 verses to expound on the kind of woman she wants for her boy. How many mothers out there haven’t done that??? Put in an order for the perfect daughter-in-law? Not hard to imagine.
So here we go with the “Inspired utterance” that is now the example of a woman for every young or grown woman in existence.
In Praise of a Good Wife (OR) A Wife of Noble Character
10 A truly good wife
is the most precious treasure
a man can find!
(NIV - A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies).
She is a truly good wife. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines “Good” as, an adjective, “to be desired or approved of” and as a noun as, “That which is morally right; righteousness”. To be found morally right and approved of by God then, equals a woman whose worth exceeds that of rubies. Take the husband out of the equation and it is an inspiring image of a woman, one that is morally righteous and desired by God.
Moral means,“Concerned with the principles of right and wrong behavior and the goodness or badness of human character.” If one could claim to be “morally righteous” and “good”, then indeed we would be worth more than jewels. If we were indeed conscious of the good and bad in our character, that would be a start, wouldn’t it?
The problem is, we aren’t “good”. We don’t feel “good”. We’ve lost sight of what that means in our culture of passive Christian living. We hide our morally righteous living to avoid conflict with society, which is opposed to this type of woman. It would be easier if the verse said, “Wear a size 6 dress, always wear makeup when the man comes home, have dinner ready and he will find your value to exceed rubies and gold!”
What does it say? It says be of good character. It says to be of “noble” character in some translations. To be a Woman of Character. It’s not telling us what to do outwardly, it’s telling us that our minds and hearts need to be firmly established where they belong. In God. So we will always know our worth, our identity and so our moral compass will always know polar north.
Good is a four letter word and somewhere in my years education, I was told never to use four letter words such as good or nice. They are small and not as descriptive as, for example. “wonderful” and “pleasant”. How many of us can look back on our week and say we were “good” via God’s standard? Yeah. I just lost that game too. This verse is putting a standard before us. Not a standard of the perfect body type, or of a sex goddess, or powerhouse woman, but of what God wants his women to be. It should be thrown at us a lot. But we should understand it to be a picture of the inside potential of a woman, not an unattainable goal.
Example: This verse brings to mind Melanie Hamilton from “Gone With the Wind”. If you’ve read the book or watched the movie, this woman is probably one of the best example of a “good” woman. She could be the poster child for the P31W. Even when Scarlett is hateful, jealous and attempting to steal Melanie’s husband, Melanie loves Scarlett, thinks the best of her, shows integrity in her actions, and is steadfast and unwavering. She is indeed a good woman, worth far more than any gem.
More to come NEXT TIME for P31W Part II!!!!
DISCLAIMER: I am not a trained biblical scholar nor do I have a degree in ancient proverbs. I am just curious, hungry and care for my gender and our crazy methods of learning and growing as Christian women in a world that has a pretty skewed image of what women are or should be. If at any point you see a huge flaw in my logic or addition that needs to be added to the interpretation, please contact me and help me to correct or add to my expounding on this chapter. I do not claim to have all the answers or have the correct translation and meaning of all the verses in this series. I am just digging and sharing my findings and research concerning this chapter.
2/2013
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