Permission to Run

Why is it that we'd rather ask for forgiveness than permission?

Duh.

So how come we don't try new and daring things and ask for forgiveness for the failed, brave attempt rather than never experience the possible success?

God has made me brave lately and it's scary. It's time to be brave and do hard things. His timing couldn't be better. I have a road of new and different things ahead of me.

I saw a generic “art” picture once. Dark chess pieces loomed high around a small pawn on a monochromatic background and chess board. The pawn is holding a brief case. A caption reads, “Your Move”.

Everything is saying go – do – be – brave – adventure – even my timid inner self is raring to go. Time to run, and maybe even fly.

But something was holding me earth bound. And it seemed odd. Because of all things to hold me back, I was waiting for God before moving. I didn't know what God wanted me to do.
I prayed and prayed, “What now? Where do you want me?”

God isn't halfway or average or mediocre. God is fantastical and pass stupendous and above amazing. He wants us flying rather than running, running rather than walking, walking rather than crawling, crawling rather than motionless.

He is just waiting for us to become like eagles. He wants us to go for those dreams.

The thing stopping me was wanting to know I am on the right track. No answer came. I gave God options. Here or here? What? Where? Is there really a wrong choice or just different directions? Is one wrong or do I just have to choose one over the other? Which is better? A or B? God gave no green lights either way.

I swear God gets exasperated with me.

“You need a greener green light, eh? Why? If you know me, you should know what I want for you. If this is what you choose by right of joy, love and the next step, I'm not here to stop you. Write your story, Shaina. I'll help you. I'll not hinder you, less your plans turn nefarious. Good grief! I gave you your passions and aspirations! I gave you a hope and a future, with a will to prosper you and not harm you. Go for your dreams dear. I'll always be here. I'll applaud you when you succeed and hold a feast in your honor. I'll listen when you need to talk and hold you when you're weary. I'll never leave you. I am just waiting for the day you take flight and really know your potential. I am here, Shaina.”

There are many stories of people of faith who did great things, often without knowing the details. There are some remarkable adventures as well. Abigail went against her husband, shocking!, in order to save her household. David killed a giant with a rock. Dinah's brothers killed an entire tribe to restore her honor. Jael killed a general with a tent peg to the brain. Joshua and Caleb were spies into a country they later took over. Ruth technically seduced her cousin and Esther saved a nation by disobeying federal laws.

These were people doing the things that needed to be done. They were on the road, trusted God and flew when the moment came. I doubt God spoke to Jael and said
“Yes, put at tent peg to his temple, a little more to the left. Now hit the top squarely. Swing true. You always did have a fabulous way with that mallet, Jael. Truly a gift.”

No. They held to God's standard and just did it. They earned their spurs on the fly. We won't always have a green light, but mostly a blinking yellow light.
Maybe that's the point. Just be ready to face whatever meets you. God always has a way of redirecting us if we chose wrong or divert to left field. But if the bible is our standard... can we go wrong?

“So, Shaina. Child of imagination, lover of creation...*eyebrow raise, eyes rolling* Intense person that you are... consider this your permission slip.”

“Run. As far as you can. Capture what it is you seek. Experience the thrill of running. Run fast or slow. It's up to you, but here you go. My approval is on the path you choose. As long as you run. Go for the dream, whichever it is. Run and see if you can best the angels at your sides.”

For those of you who don't know, I graduate in the spring. I applied and was accepted at the University of Wisconsin – Eau Claire. I will be working on a second bachelor's degree in Photography. As I already have a degree, the majority of my credits will transfer and it will only take me two years or so to graduate.

I am really excited about this plan. I looked into schools and programs both for art and master's programs. This art program, the professors and facility was the first and only school to really get me excited. When I searched their music department, and found a bassoon teacher, full orchestra and choir opportunities and reciprocity with with Wisconsin, it kind of sealed the deal. I'm be registered to start classes the fall of 2011.

I decided to do this because it's something I love to do. I want to know more and be better at creating photos, a hobby that brings me unexplainable joy. I want to know as much as possible for both commercial and fine art photography options. I can't think of anything more fun than two years of photography classes and art work. It'll be intense, but I'm looking forward to it.

So, I have a semester left at MSU as a Mass Communications, Journalism Major, Music Minor and Art Studio Minor. And then I am off for a run. Who knows... maybe I'll fly...